Thursday, November 19, 2009

Like fire

I feel a little scorched this morning. 

I'm away from home for the exhibition opening and a few days respite time. Late last night, I logged on to the local internet system to check my emails when, for some inexplicable reason, five year's worth of personal and professional correspondence went up in smoke. That's a fair bit of writing. I don't know how this happened. It was there one minute, gone the next. How ephemeral things are, I found myself thinking. And what a powerful statement and metaphor. 

My Sent box is empty. 

Where could those years and pages of letters and musings have gone to, I wonder? And why now when we're just weeks away from the year I'd chosen to take a 'sabbatical' from my usual commitments for the purpose of synthesis and consolidation - reflecting specifically on these five years of life and learning, work, inner process and travel adventures. How bizarre this is.  I was all set! 

This has certainly got me thinking. Is this yet another prompt to practice detachment? Hmm. I suspect so. Drat! (That said, I can't deny I'm more than a little intrigued by this little drama.)

Out of the ashes... ? 

Well, what else can I do but shake my sooty little feathers and faithfully await the phoenix.


  1. My sympathies Claire. The same happened to me once. In my case it was apparently caused by a rare but toxic side effect of a hostile interaction between an expensive mail programme and an incompatible but similarly expensive virus checker.

    Apparently the promise that there is some bright lad that can retrieve the lost mail for you, turned out to be a myth.

    Like you, I took it as a message that it was time to move on and let go, and after the initial shock and disbelief, I did feel my step on the earth was just that bit lighter...

    P xx

  2. Hi PC - thanks for your commiserations. Yes, there was a definite 'oooh, ah, ouch' moment, but as you say, letting go does enable one move forward a little lighter. We can be such humpy-backed camels?!

    Words I'm considering right now? Light. Lean. Less(on).

    L, C x